Every time I walk off of a golf course after putting out on the last green, I almost always have the same thought: The LORD is testing me. I still haven’t quite figured out what He is trying to show me but I know that He is using this game to teach me something. This week was no different. My golf team had our last tournament before we head to conference this past week. It was a long, grueling, and at times very painful three days. Don’t get me wrong-my team did AMAZING–we finished in third and pulled a miraculous win over the Number 1 Division 3 school in the nation. But I had a very difficult three days. Missed putts, bad swings, and stupid decisions cost me 12 shots. I know that may not seem like a lot, but when your heart and soul is in this game, it truly is a test of your patience and humility.
There is almost nothing more difficult than smiling and congratulating your teammates on their great round when on the inside you are dying to be them. You want to hit the fairways and knock it close to the pin and make your putts. You want it so bad, and it just won’t happen. So you practice more and work harder and try your best and go play only to have the same results. Nothing. You are truly giving it everything you possibly can but you feel like you are getting nothing in return. It’s exhausting. Finally you get so tired and worn down that you realize something–it isn’t your time. No matter how bad you may want it, if the LORD isn’t ready to give it to you, you aren’t going to get it. At the end of the round, all you can do is chalk it up to experience, look up to the clouds, and pray you learned the lesson God wanted you to.
So you keep swinging. You keep playing. You keep praying, having faith that you will get your turn. One day it will all come together and you won’t have to push through the disappointment to smile. But until then, you just keep putting for patience.